11 weeks...

When I log on my journal's homepage passively-aggressively reminds me I haven't updated in 11 weeks, and to be honest, its been even longer since I had a real update; my updates were empty promises of a real update and some pictures to post up (but even then I've let that slip as well. Honestly, Facebook has sucked me into its addictive grip (if anyone wants to keep up with me since my journal isn't updated as much anymore you can add me at Jori Greaves, just leave me a message as to how I know you).

My last real update was on February 17th; Its now June 8th. How do I possibly write about the four months of ups and downs from that time? I've lost friends and gained new ones. Lovers came and went and opportunities arose.

I guess I'll do this how I always do when I ignore my journal: break it down into lj-cut sections. I think I'll just do one section a day.



On a whim I applied to college back in December after looking at my former best friend's facebook page and realizing (with a jolt) she was already a Junior in college while I was still sitting at home feeling sorry for myself being back at home and the fact I couldn't seem to get a date to save my life. I chose IUS for two reasons: location and price. IUS only wants a little over $5000 a semester, which isn't bad at all not to mention the dorm price was included, which helped to get me out of the house. It was also only a half an hour north of where I lived, which wasn't as much of a plus as it was convenient. They also offer International Studies... something I have wanted to major in for awhile.

My classes were Psychology 2, Pre-Human Origins, Culture and Society, and American History (with an emphasis on government).

My history teacher, Don, was a nice man with a tendency to get flustered during his lectures, but overall really knew his material. He embodied the essence of High School history teacher with his carefree attitude and leniency on us that I so deeply miss.

The two Anthropology classes were led by Sheri Hiegelman, an older Anthropologist who specializes in the Native American culture of the Plains. Sherri has an obvious passion and love for her subject, though I could have done without all the Native American talk (something I have literally zero interest in). On Thursday I had her for a combined time of 5 hours and often found myself drifting in and out of focus. Her tests were unusually hard, as she would give questions that weren't on the study guide.

My Psychology teacher was Aimee Edison, a bright, silly and very chipper lady in her early thirties. I really admired her and enjoyed her lessons and talking to her. After awhile she became extremely distant with me, to the point of even cutting me off when I would make a comment on something she was explaining in class. I really respected and liked her, so it hurt and I became withdrawn and didn't enjoy her classes as much. Getting her to respond to my emails about grades and assignments also became damn near impossible. I simply rode that wave until the semester was over.

In the dorm I originally was with three other girls, though one left about a week after I came. They were all nice enough in their own way, all 18, but I felt so odd being around them and listening to their problems. I wanted to say even in a few years all these minor complications would be so trivial and they would laugh, but I knew it might come off sounding pompous and really, you have to let people grow up on their own anyway.

I mostly kept to myself, I didn't really understand the other two very well. Teresa, the girl I roomed with, had absolutely nothing in common with me. She is your cliche, country-hick-ghetto girl and there was very little conversation between us besides polite questions. I never could understand her selfish and rude ways, but then I met her parents and it all made sense to me. I don't dislike her as a person, but as a friend we couldn't have been more opposite. Luckily for me, she felt the same so we spent 95% of our time pretending the other person didn't exist.

Samantha was the girl in the room opposite of Teresa and mine. Interest and background wise we're very different, but we ended up hitting it off well. Her silly, fun and sometimes naively blunt statements were a breath of fresh air to me. I didn't get to know her as much as I liked; she is a very popular girl with shallow, snotty friends who live only for getting into bars with their fake IDs. Sam never was interested in doing such stuff, but often felt obligated to go. I always wanted to guide her somehow, to help her stand up to them, but I just stayed silent.

I really can't wait to go back in the fall. I love learning, I love educating myself and having a sense of purpose beyond a minimum wage job and some hope something positive will come my way to change my luck.

I want to go back to the dorm, but at the same time I really can't afford it. I mean, I CAN but they want the tuition (plus room fees) all upfront, and my student loans just don't cover it. I'm debating on getting an apartment by campus unless other possibilities open up for me (more on that later).

I finally have a scanner, so now I can scan pictures! El yay!

This was from a photobooth set up at a beer festival I went to near the end of August.



( Say cheese )

I am leaving to Miami in the afternoon. Its going to be an 18 hour drive, so I plan on using that time to actually make that long awaited entry I so promised.

I lied about the big post update, I'm cramming for a Political Science exam tomorrow.

So, instead, how about some MO'FOCKING PICTARS!?



( O HAI GAIZ )

Just to update: I have moved to college (Indiana University Southeast) and live on the dorm. The people are friendly enough, and the classes I enjoy, even if they are a little disappointingly boring. Full time student, but its still unknown about my FAFSA and how I will pay for it at this time.

Besides that, life is life. I'm dating someone again, I'm not going out too much but that should change soon when I get my car ideally in the next months or so.

I plan a major update on Friday.

Let me start off by saying this is one of THE BEST raves/shows I have ever been to. 9 hours of perfect, non-stop beats. Armin never got tired nor did the music ever lag. 70,0000 people all packed into the L.A. Sports Arena. I heard there were so many people trying to go that not everyone made it in because the lines were so long.

Also, my camera was snatched from me at the very beginning of the event, so there are no pictures of me, my hotel room or walking around L.A.


I left the night before New Years eve to go up to Indianapolis, as I had to fly out of that Airport. I arrived around 10pm but was too excited and couldn't really sleep. My plan was due to leave at 6:45am, meaning I had to be at the airport around 5:30am. I eventually fell asleep but awoke a few hours later to Grandma's ungodly snores. I eventually gave up and played around on the internet until it was time for me to pack. I made it to the airport without any problems and the plane ride was, for the most part, very uneventful. The landscape heading west was absolutely beautiful: slipping from hilly Indiana to the flat plains of the Mid-West back to hilly western states that dramatically jutted into the snow covered Rocky Mountains and then melted away to desert then to the valleys and mountains of California. When I stepped off the plane at 8:30am (PST) it was unusually foggy and chilly. I was able to catch a bus to the train station then headed east to Downtown L.A. I enjoyed the train ride as it allowed me to see a more candid side of L.A. with each stop we made.

My hotel was, amazingly, ready five hours earlier than check in, and I went upstairs to unload my laptop and clothes. I enjoyed my room; it reminded me of older European hotels and hostels and, as I threw open the window to my room allowing the warm California sunlight and cool breeze from the ocean to flood in, I could see the Hollywood sign in very direct view.

Too excited to take a nap, despite running on three hours of sleep, I quickly took a shower and decided it was time to explore L.A. I hopped on the train and went from North Hollywood all the way down to Long Beach. Hollywood was honestly pretty ghetto with the only exception being Sunset, where I walked around the most. I stood on Long Beach for a few moments just looking at the ocean and feeling very content. Around 2 I took the train back to my hotel and decided I needed a nap before the event. I went to sleep around 3, woke up at 7:30 and was ready to go by 8:30.

As usual, I was extremely overdressed, wearing a strapless satin teal blue dress with 4" black high heels and a black choker. I should have known to dress more casually...I remember at the hotel thinking I was going to skip the eye-glitter because I didn't want to look too wild. Yeah...that was kinda laughable looking back. Though I was comforted to see other girls in high heels, so I didn't feel too over-dressed, just a little (okay, a lot). The outfits were, as usual, insanely crazy with fur, neon colors, glowing things and lots of skin. Your typical rave attire.

The cab ride was quick but about a half a mile from the event you could already see the main General Admission line. As I walked past them I was thinking how some people probably weren't even going to get in due to all the line cutters and how massive the crowd was (and it turned out I was right). I made went to the VIP entrance over by Groovetickets booth and was in fairly fast (thanks to a couple of guys telling me to climb the barrier). Right when I walked in the main event, Imagine, started and I couldn't have planned it better! I was amazed at just how many people were already inside compared to those still trying to get in. The arena was already packed to capacity (the final count was 70,000 people) with several thousands more still waiting to get in.

I managed to wiggle my way through the packed dance floor and to the very front of the barrier where I was dead center in front of Armin, maybe only ten or so feet from him and believe me, I was covered in bruises to prove it; I had a pretty nasty bruise across my torso from where I was smashed up against the iron barrier when people freaked out during "Going Wrong". While trying to move though, I found I couldn't get out, which really upset me. I began to panic and felt like I couldn't breathe, that there was no way to get out and I really flipped when some girl who was on this guy's shoulders topped off of him and sort of landed on me quite a few other people, so I ducked down and squatted on the floor. Ironically enough, it was much calmer and cooler down there (you could actually breathe), but people around me started to worry and kept trying to pull me back up. I had to forcefully shove through people, break through the cuddle puddles, knock people out of the way to actually move anywhere. Once I get out of the thick I just took a moment to breath in fresh air then decided I wasn't going back to that at all.

After taking a few pictures and getting smashed, pushed, sweated on and knocked around I decided I had enough of the dance floor; I just needed one more picture (one of Armin pointing at me). He had made eye contact with me a few times and even smiled, but went back to mixing. I was able to wave my camera around and got a picture of him pointing right at me. It was then, as I moved to put my camera back in my bag I felt an arm wrap around me and yank the camera out of my hands. I instantly turned around to try to see who had taken it, but the massive wall of people stopped me from seeing very far. I began screaming to give my camera back, shoving people out of the way to find it. Many people stopped dancing and even looked around their area to see if it was dropped on the ground. There were just too many people to try and make a recovery. According to many other websites, however, there was A LOT of camera snatching going on that night.


I felt really upset and decided to go into the VIP area, as I had just lost my camera and my feet were killing me. VIP turned out to be a fucking joke but I had no real plans to use it other than getting in quickly. There was no where to sit (the other reason I bought the ticket) and if you tried to sit on the unused steps security would come over and yell at you. You couldn't take water outside (seriously, what was up with that?) and the area behind the stage was alright, but I didn't want to stare at Armin's butt all night so I found better seating up at the top. I wanted to stick around a meet Armin, but I decided at such a massive event he would be bum rushed by fans and I didn't have the will or desire to fight them all when I could catch him at a smaller venue. Not to mention, no camera.

After talking myself out of my sadness from the stolen camera (I reasoned to myself that I spent all this money and as this IS the last Armin Only: Imagine, I am not going to let myself be down. I'll find picture from the internet and buy a new camera).

The performances were pretty seamless, Armin did a very good job making sure there was a cohesion to his work all night and was still able to deliver despite the blown speaker. I liked how when "Going Wrong" everyone sang louder than Chris near the end and people went nuts for Eller, who has just as much energy as his brother. He was really tearing it up! I want to know their secret...especially Armin. He never faltered or seemed to lag at all in his energy.

The visuals were absolutely crazy! I was nervous when I heard how strict the US is on laser laws and how the visuals would suffer, but I don't think they suffered in the least bit. My favorite visual of the night, however, was at the point where Armin turned off all the lights and when you looked around you saw nothing but a near perfect sphere of flowing, colored lights. It looked like the entire universe was in the arena with different colored twinkling stars and galaxies (where the cuddle puddles were). At the time I was sitting very high up in the bleachers with a perfect view of the entire crowd (and Armin). I felt so small but at the same time so peaceful. As corny as it sounds, we really were all together as one.

I really enjoyed sitting up in the bleachers making friends with the kandi kids. I admit, I hadn't had that good/strong of a roll since Summer of 2006. There was one point, when I wanted to get up to see DeadMau5 in the other arena, that I couldn't even stand. I had one of my new friends carry me on his back.

After the new year, Armin kept holding up the US flag proudly as high as he could, and I really felt like 2009 is being embraced as a new beginning for America. There was a felt sense that our country is much more warmly accepted now after 8 years of Bush politics!


When the event was over, Michael (one of the new friends I met) and I walked around Figueroa completely lost thanks to the fog and the rude cops. They wouldn't even try to help me, rather yelling at me to 'get back with the group!' when I stepped off the sidewalk to ask for directions. But L.A. cops aren't famous for being friendly, so... I eventually broke down and got a hotdog from one of the vendors outside and...haven't not ate a thing since 8pm on Tuesday (this was now 4am Thursday morning) it tasted amazing. My roll was pretty much going strong when I got back to the hotel, so I wandered over to one of the after parties on the 5th floor and hung out with a bunch of kandi kids, sharing pictures, dancing, and just having a great time. Around 7am I went to my room and went to bed.

My check out time was 12pm, so I went to grab some food and went back down to Long Beach where I stared out at the ocean for a little bit then went to catch my plane.

The plane left around 4pm and I was soon on the way back home.



( Imagine... )

( Videos )

The bitterly cold winds of December are here, which remind me that I am at the ending point of the new year and at the halfway point to summer. From here, it is as thought I am the other side of an oval running track staring hungrily at my goal of the finish line.

I'm already sick of winter and its barely started. Thankfully the retail season is over which means my burning desire to go out will no longer be squashed by being absolutely exhausted.

So I've finalized my New Year's Plans in L.A. I'm trying to set up a meeting with Peter (finally) since he'll only be an hour away, but it doesn't look as though I will get to. -sigh-

I've got Backstage VIP passes for Armin Van Buuren when he rents out the entire L.A. Sports Arena with DeadMau5 (who I am excited to see for the first time). Unfortunately, leaving out of Louisville isn't an option thanks to them wanting an extra $300 for the area. So I have to drive up to Indianapolis the night before and sit in the airport for about ten hours. Boooo. I leave at 6am then land in L.A. at 8am but I can't check in until 3pm. The event starts at 7pm (as Armin van Buuren is playing a 9-hour set) but I'm not going until 9pm or so...I will need a nap.

After all of that, I will have a few hours to explore until I fly back to Louisville at 430pm the next day. I'm so amazingly excited for this trip. After this I have to plan for Winter Music Conference. I wonder if I will see Sharam...

Two Saturdays ago I went to my friend Georgette's Ugly Christmas Sweater Party. I've finally shaken my wanting-to-stay-inside-all-the-time feeling from the early summer, but now its far too cold. I usually don't enjoy these house parties, but there were new faces to mingle with, dance remixes of top 40 hits, keg stands (which I won't post those pictures without the people's permission first) and a crap ton of shenanigans. It was nice to see many faces I hadn't seen since I stopped going out, one in particular was Derrick and Eddie. I really do enjoy hanging out with them.



( Ugly sweaters here )
I am once more dating casually...wait, I am always dating casually. I met this guy named Morgan, a handsome British/Italian man who grew up in Italy. Unfortunately, he turned out to be a drunk and completely prone to mood-swings and throwing a tantrum when he doesn't get his way. After our third time meeting he wanted me to spend the night with him despite me having to get up early the next morning to work and not having any clothes to work in. He wouldn't take no for an answer, and then tells me how he is going to 'cut his losses because I am clearly not interested in him' and that he 'was going to break up with me anyway'. Now he's calling non-stop telling me how sorry he is, how much he misses me even though these events took place two weeks ago. I've told him absolutely not; that I don't have to deal with his mood-swings brought on by his drinking, nor will I. He blew it.

I met a DJ from Miami over the weekend named Jason and after hanging out last night we clicked quite well. I'm worried I was a little too geeky for him, but I couldn't help myself as he let me listen to his music and has an absolutely beautiful music manipulation machine (a Lemur) and I just...loved it. I feel strange because I felt like I was too much of myself, that perhaps I was too silly and geeky for someone so cool as him, living in Miami and around all these beautiful women. I guess lately I feel like unless I keep the true aspects of who I am hidden, I will only attract creeps, losers or jerks. Its a pity he returns to Miami in two weeks, because I do like him a bit. Then again, a brief fling is known to do the heart wonders.

Christmas is just a few days away. My gift is this trip to L.A. so I'm not getting anything. For everyone else, I am baking brownies since I blew all my money on this trip. I know, selfish, but 2008 has been just...a sucktastic year. I want to start this new year off completely refreshed and new, alone, with the music.

As much as I hoped and willed against it, the warm balmy summer and pleasant fall has faded into bitterly cold winter. I'm still a bit in denial about the cold weather, though not so much I am refusing to wear a jacket (I usually give in around this time of the year). Its the city's last 'hurrah' before shutting down for four months (only to come alive on the second weekend in April for Derby festivities).

I also have less than 30 days to finalize and fill out my application for IUS. I really hope that I get it...I don't want to wait until August. Then again, if I do wait I can work in Ibiza this spring. I dunno, we'll see.

I went to Light Up Louisville on the 30th, which was nice despite it being overly packed, crowded and full of violent rednecks talking trash when people bumped into them. I'll never understand those types of people.

I also have photographic evidence I am 10-years-old. This picture was taken Saturday afternoon at an Ale Club meeting get-together.



( Warm gathering on a chilly night )

The gallery to the event is here.
http://fotoewizzard.smugmug.com/gallery/6697690_YcGnf#427530457_diKwT

I really love the Ale Club meetings. I am always the youngest by at least seven or eight years, but they are amazing people who I count as solid, steady friends. I really look forward to seeing them and going to the meetings.

I also went out for the first time in...well, forever. I really needed to get out, so I tried The Pink Door for a change. I was worried it would be like a smaller version of 4t St Live, I discovered the slightly older, more relaxed dance crowd to be a refreshing. While I felt the anxiety of being in an unfamiliar place, I quickly warmed up and made some new friends. I met a really beautiful, nice, smart guy, but I'll get to know him more on a less bar like area.

I think I'll start hanging out at Pink Door more often, really. Its a nice change of pace for me while I navigate through these strange times.



( First night inside the Pink Door. )

Lastly, I bought a PSP and I am completely addicted to it and the game Crisis Core. Seriously. I know I shouldn't have bought it, but I couldn't help myself. I need to save money so I can go see Armin van Buuren in LA. I hope to god I make it.

On a completely different note from yesterday, here are the pictures Jarrett took of me for his Photography class. The assignment was to showcase different clothing patterns and textures in an 'ad' style print.



( This way to narcissism. )

http://www.parentdish.com/2008/11/09/obama-is-a-bad-word-at-some-mississippi-schools/?icid=100214839x1213226079x1200822634

Students are banned from saying Obama's name in some schools.

The three rave musketeers Bruce, Aaron and I made our usual trip up to Sugar in Columbus with a friend from the Haunted House I work with, Steven. He had never been to a rave before (not to mention doesn't smoke, drink or do anything). He really wanted to go because he likes me (I'll post on that later) and was interested in seeing a rave.

It was a typical trip up to Columbus, only this time we didn't stay at the downtown Hyatt or eat at that amazing hole-in-the-wall Thai place. There must have been a major college game going on, because every hotel room in the city was sold out. We stayed in a La Quinta Inn in Grove City (about six miles outside of Downtown Columbus), which wasn't too bad. The beds were comfy and thats all that matters to me. I had forgot to pack my swimsuit, so Aaron, Bruce, Steven and I all went to Wal-Mart where I picked up a black pre-teen training bra and some purple panties that said 'Spoiled Cat' on the crotch. Yes, in the pre-teen section. It was both hilarious and creepy at the same time. They picked up the ever necessary glow-sticks, and this being Halloween there were plenty to choose from.

Afterwards, Aaron and Bruce went to Olive Garden while I went back to the room to try and nap. Steven went with me, but I couldn't sleep so he went back to Wal-Mart to buy a hoodie for the evening and I moved to the sauna to relax.

It seems I fell asleep in the sauna, because when Steven had came down to get me, he said he had been gone for an hour and I had been in there before he left. I was covered in sweat and laying in a pool of it; it was pretty gross, really but I did feel rather refreshed despite my depleted body water.

So I moved upstairs and took a shower. I was feeling really out of it, probably from being in such a high-temperature place for so long, or the fact I was drinking champagne right after getting out of the sauna. I dunno, but I was feeling more loopy and giddy than usual.

I get ready, pulling out my trusty old, over-large sheer black shirt I'd made into a dress and paired it with purple stockings. I thought it was an interesting look, but looking back it probably looked like a poor excuse for a witch's costume.

I popped my E pill with Aaron, and off we went. It kicked in much faster than it usually does, so I was feeling the queasy effects on the cab ride over. My favorite spot in the club was closed off due to a private party, as was the back room, leaving literally NO WHERE to sit. I was in 4" platform heels. My feet were already hurting and I wasn't in the best of moods.

So, whats a girl to do? I sat down on one of the the speakers that was sitting on the floor. A security guard gave me a funny look, but as I rubbed my feet and raised my eyebrow at him, he just shrugged it off. Hell hath no fury like a girl with sore feet in a club.

DJ Quantum, the usual opening act, was amazing as ever but played waaaaaay too much crap for a bit.

My pill kicked in fully soon enough and before I knew it I was dancing like crazy. Usually I'm very relaxed and sitting down, talking, but I danced non-stop nearly the whole night. Christopher Lawrence was simply AMAZING and had the whole place grooving. I heard his live shows are very good, but I wasn't expecting it to be that good.

I don't really remember a lot of the night. I was rolling much harder than I usually do (probably because its been almost six months since I last did it) and I pretty much danced all night save for the times I went outside to cool off (where people complimented me on my wacky eyelashes) and chatted up this really hot security guy. He wasn't acting like a pompous dick like most security guys I've known in major clubs.

Ahaha, oh how could I forget! So, this girl who should clearly be on that show 'Paris Hilton's new BFF' was there with some of her friends. She came up to Bruce and asked him "How do you request a song from the DJ?" Bruce told her that you do not request a song from an internationally acclaimed, 4th best in the trance world DJ. She flipped her hair in a very haughty sort of way and said "We'll see about that" then walks off to the DJ booth. Naturally, the security guards stopped her. She pouted, stamped her pretty, D&G clad foot while loudly crying "All I want is to request the new Kayne West song! This music sucks, you can't dance to this music!" She then went on to claim she knew the owner of the club and he would be very angry if he found out they were playing this kind of music and wouldn't let 'his favorite' get a request in.

Still, she was turned away and quickly left the dance floor with her clones in tow. Good riddance.

Sugar, when they host raves, brings out Columbus' Asian community, which means there are some insanely good glow-stickers. I always get the best light shows from them, and I got one from this beautiful Asian girl who I swear was going to kiss me when she gave me the show. I was still hopped up on E, I wouldn't have minded at all. They were all very friendly even outside the club.

I was lucky enough to meet Christopher at the end of his set. A lot of people were very rude and were jumping in front of me, pushing me out of the way to come up to him even though I was next in line. When I did finally get up to him, I thanked him for the beautiful set and took our picture. He seemed very tired, so I didn't bother to linger.

Back to the hotel we went, where I promptly crashed out. I didn't sleep very well, it was hard with Steven trying to touch me or cuddle me all night. I woke up a few hours later feeling absolutely awful. I went to the bathroom where I laid on the floor, shivering violently, head swimming and just feeling an amazing sense of dread; almost as though I would never be happy again. I finally calmed down and went back to bed.

The return trip home was uneventful, as we listened to music and zoned out for the whole three hour drive.

I didn't take very many pictures and no videos because my battery in the camera was severely low (stupid me forgot to switch them out) and I wanted to make sure I would have enough battery to get a picture if I met Chris.



( A purple overdose )

Post on what I've been doing (nothing, really) and upcoming trip soon, ideally within the week.

House rejects 700 Billion Dollar bail-out plan; Dow drops a record 778 points in one day

A part of me is happy about this; I've wanted to see America go under for a looong time. I'm so sick of the piggish lifestyle: The Paris Hiltons, the super sweet Sixteens, the Gangsta with all the bling.

And yet, at the same time, I am terrified at what this could mean.

Can I claim refugee status now?

Cleo Louise Patricia Maxwell, my 14-year-old, fat n' sassy cat was put to sleep.

Oops. It was with a jolt I realized exactly one month ago I posted about Chicago and...wow. So much has happened. Its amazing what a month can do to a person. I can't believe how much has been packed into 30 days...so, I am going to break it down into sections.

First off, because my internet blows goats at my Grandma's house I had to wait until I could leech off a more stable internet connection in order to post the videos from the Chicago trip.

( Chicago videos )

So lets see...lets see. Well, first off we had Hurricane Ike make it all the way to Kentucky on Sunday as a very weak Category 1. The wind kicked up to 80mph and trees fell everywhere. 75% of the city (a city of a million people) are without power and will be without power for an estimate of 7-10 days. At least the winds pushed in a sort of cold front, so now it rather nice and breezy. I'm at a friend's apartment leeching off the internet; he lives downtown, so naturally the power was restored almost immediately.

I'm on the 20th floor, where his apartment is and looking out over the city seems so...strange to me. Entire pockets of the city are engulfed in a strange sort of darkness with only the most necessary areas like the downtown, airport and interstates light up (as well some neighborhoods in the vicinity). There has already been a lot of looting in the city as well, which is sad when you think about it. With many major businesses closed due to power failures, these places are easy targets and the police are stretched as it is responding to distress calls in neighborhoods.

My own house isn't due to have the power restored for 5-7 days. There wasn't a lot of damage in the area: many branches down in the yard and a tree down the street had cracked and split in half. Other areas, such as Germantown, Highlands and PRP/Shively/Valley were hit the hardest with entire roofs torn off of buildings and their power not due to turn on for 10-14 days.



( Damn Tina, how are you gonna piss off Ike from beyond the grave like that? )

My cats have a wonderful case of respiratory infection, and not much can be done to kill it; we just have to wait it out. Which means I am cleaning off their crusty, runny noses and wiping the drool from their chins. Fun fun.

( Work )

( Will )

( Will 2.0 )

( The other men )

( Moving out )

Its with a jolt I realized that, while I was busy crying and moping around this summer, I had forgot to post pictures of Pride, of Indy and many other things. I'm just...really glad I didn't bring my camera to the wedding.

Its weird for me to see these pictures. I was supposed to go to the Pride Festival before Will and I went to his cousin's wedding, but I procrastinated putting together the perfect outfit for the wedding that I only had enough time to walk to the start of the festival and take pictures.

I...you have no idea how much I fucking regret going out to Pride instead of going home with Will. If I had known it would be the last time...

Anyway. Pride and then Pride party at Connections.


( Pride 6-21-08 )

Labor Day weekend was the Louisville Zombie Walk. I wasn't even sure I would be able to attend this year and was worried I wouldn't have anything decent to wear considering I threw it together at the last minute. However, I was complimented on my outfit (which, ironically enough was only red Kool-Aid) by a lot of people.

I also reconnected with Alex, a guy I used to know in the 6th Grade.


( Braaaaaains )

The next weekend I spent a rare Friday night out (usually I only go out on Saturdays). I was exceptionally drunk as I spent time with my good friend Adrian and his brother, Adrian's girlfriend and her friends. You KNOW its the mark of a good night when you: Get a straight guy felt up by a Drag Queen (and he doesn't resist) and you lose your bra. Yeah.

Oh, and alcohol + no sleep = ugly bags under the eyes. Please ignore.


( A rare drunken Friday 9-5-08 )

Besides that, nothing much. There was the 4-year anniversary of the Louisville Ale Club that I went to on Saturday, which was going on during the Highlands Arts Fest. All in all it was a very cozy Saturday afternoon followed by the final show of the best punk band in Louisville: Dead City Rejects.

I'll post more about that later. Right now its 745am and I am ready to pass out. At least I finally updated.

Oh. And I dyed my hair brown. ;]

I procrastinate so much, I haven't posted about my escape to Chicago.

The Thursday before I went out to see Dark Knight, which was an amazing movie. After seeing the movie for the second time last weekend I am sure of its brilliancy. I couldn't sleep for the rest of the night, my mind just wouldn't shut up. After three or so hours of sleep I awake to pack and hurry to catch my bus that will take me downtown.

I had been hoping to catch a nap on the bus, but lucky me I ended up seated behind this squalling brat who I kid you not cried all six hours up there (his mother spanking him every time he screamed didn't help the situation, either).

Upon making it to Chicago, my friend whom I was staying with hadn't arrived from his vacation in Washington. I arrived in Chicago, where it was rainy and cool. I met up with Sean's best friend, Von after taking the train to the Central Lake View area.

Central Lake View was pretty nice, just close enough to the city to have a pulse, and far enough things were affordable. The area was very off-beat with a mix of gay flair, hipster trends with a touch of hippie added in. Its somewhere I could really see myself living in.


( Pictures from Lakeview )

Hanging out with Von for a few hours was pretty awesome: we watch Star Wars family Guy, watched random bits of TV and then went for a drive to pick up Sean from a bus stop around 11pm.

It was really good to see Sean again. After stopping to get some fast food (Mmm Burger King). Having been awake for over 12 hours on three hours of sleep, I declined the offer to party with Sean and instead went to bed.

I quickly learned Sean is a bit of a man whore...okay, a major man whore. Not that it bothered me, it more amused me than anything. Most of Saturday was rainy and hazy, and I lounged around for most of it until Sean, Von and I went out to get some food. Naturally, as Saturday night was Sharam of Deep Dish playing at Crobar, I wanted to be well rested (I was nervous to see Sharam again.)

I napped, restlessly, then awoke to get ready. I had bought an amazing blue dress with silver heels. Lately, I find myself wearing a lot of cooler tones. I got ready and Sean, Von and I went to Club Berlin for pre-drinks. Afterwards we piled into a cab and headed over to Crobar.

Walking in between two men dressed in nice suits was surreal. The line to the club stretched around the block, and I felt like some sort of star as I glided past the throngs of people and into the club without question. We headed to the DJ booth and Sharam wasn't up there yet. I settled myself near the Lighting Tech. For some reason I wasn't feeling very social despite my excitement. So I busied myself taking pictures and being introduced to the Who's Who of Crobar and Sharam's group. A little after midnight, Sharam took over the decks and I eventually was able to catch his attention.

The rest of the night went by in a blur of beats, lights and fans. Oddly enough, between my two glasses of champagne and high energy of the crowd, I was feeling amazingly low energy; the effects of the break-up still plagued me. I spent most of the night watching Sharam mix (which only, once more, sparked my desire to learn how to mix my own music), taking pictures and talked to the fans. It was interesting how many people thought I was with Sharam, many asking me if I was his manager, if I could get his autograph for them, and there was even one girl who thought through her drunken stupor thought I was Ali (the second half of Deep Dish) and told me how much she loved Sharam and my work. Not wanting to ruin her fun, I simply thanked her.

Overall, the night, despite my lethargic tone was a high note to the escape that I needed.



( Some kind of boy, some kind of girl, some kind of song around the world )

Afterwards Sharam, myself and his crew went into the VIP bar for drinks. I was already tipsy from the champagne and passed on the offer for more drinks, rather enjoying the loud, drunken antics of the star-struck bartender girls and Sharam's tech group. We stayed in the VIP bar for a good two or so hours until fatigue took me over and we retreated to Sharam's hotel room in the very nice, very expensive W Hotel.

( Drinks and a view )

He and I talked for awhile, about everything and anything. Soon the sun was coming up and he had to get to bed in order to catch a flight in six hours. We laid down on the bed together and talked, though we eventually fell asleep for only a brief time. After I woke up, I took a cab back to Sean's house, watching the city go by my head swimming with emotions and up-turned feelings. Luckily, I was back in my temporary bed and fell into a deep sleep.

Sunday was a lazy, restful day. Sean was extremely hung-over and stayed in his room most of the day, which suited me fine, as I wasn't really wanting to do anything anyway. I lounged around, watching TV then went out to explore Belmont Street for a little bit.

Monday came and Sean was eager for me to see all of his side of Chicago. Our first stop was Flub-a-dub Chubb's for the ABSOLUTE BEST Chicago Hot Dog EVER. Sean, Von and I sat outside in the bright sunlight enjoying the cloudless Chicago day, eating our hot dogs and talking about the night before.

From there we browsed along Halstead in Boystown, heading over to the Best Buy where we dicked around for a bit, playing Guitar Hero and the likes before Sean took me to a very popular hair stylist (to talk to a friend of his) then to the best piercer in that area of Chicago to talk me into piercing my ears (I declined, being the wimp that I am), where afterwards we walked around this underground Punk store, looking at clothing. Then, it was back to his house for food and a nap before going out.

Strangely, in Chicago, Mondays are a pretty rocking night to go out, and around 11 Sean, myself and his friend Ken found ourselves at Club Berlin down the street for pre-outing drinks. After Berlin ventured to Boystown where we went into Hydrate for the $1 drink specials on Monday night. Naturally, the place was packed. I felt my experiencing a sort of culture shock: in Louisville, the bars and clubs would be D-E-A-D on a Monday, even the supposed weekday party night, Wednesdays, are pretty dead. Hydrate, however, was hopping.

I ran into Joey, an old friend who had moved up to Chicago from Louisville. We hung out for a little while, having some drinks and catching up on life. However, around 1:30ish we headed over to Boom Boom Room, an private by-invite-only party thrown by a man who used to run in Michael Alig (of the Club Kids) circle.

At Boom Boom I felt overwhelmed and intimidated by the Whose Who of the Chicago party scene. Because of this, rather than socializing, I spent my time wandering around taking pictures or standing outside talking to the host of the party, or the two popular Club Kids: SAL-E and Jojo. It was when I commented on their style of outfit I learned they had been in Michael Alig's circle in the early 90's. I contented myself to staying outside away from the overwhelming crowd.

Fast forward to 230ish, Sean, the girl he had been sleeping with (Allison) and I leave Ken to head over to Big City Tap. A traditional dive bar a few blocks from his house. The bar was okay, as I said, just your typical straight dive bar, but I ended up making friends with some really awesome Irish girls on work exchange for the summer. Spending an hour or so there, the three of us stumble back to Sean's place and go to bed.


( Wild Mondays, indeed )

I awoke Tuesday and something was, well...off. Sean was acting strangely towards me. He was no longer as friendly and I felt a very strong, disdainful 'fuck off' vibe all day. His best friend Von came over so we could grill out. Von said he hadn't noticed a change in Sean, and Sean swore he was only hung over. However, Von said that Sean, being a man whore and horny as he is, is probably starting to feel the effects of having a female friend who is not interested in him sexually (the night before Sean had even told me, in a drunken, surprised sort of tone "I'm really amazed that you haven't even tried to make a move on me yet. Most girls would have gave in by now."). Most of Tuesday was awkward and strange. I sat around watching tv as Sean ignored me, staying on his laptop or in his bedroom.

Around 10ish I decided I was going to get out and clear my head. I walked around Belmont for an hour or so, before coming home and going to bed.

Wednesday wasn't much better, I woke up to Sean telling me in a short tone that he is going to the gym then leaves. As it was clear he no longer had any desire to do anything we had planned on (aquarium, walking around downtown, etc). Still confused and hurt over what I had done wrong to make Sean change his attitude towards me (was it because I had no desire to sleep with him? Was he mad that I'm not some crazy party girl and was clammed up on Monday night?) I put on my shoes and left to go downtown by myself.

I arrived downtown roughly around 11am to crammed streets full of business people on lunch, rich kids out of school for the summer and tourists in tacky outfits. In the sunny, cloudless day I felt perfectly content lost in the massive sea of people and high rise buildings.

This is what a real city looks like, I thought to myself as I aimlessly drifted all over the downtown. At Navy Pier I watched the tourists walking around talking in dozens of different languages. I shopped in the super exclusive boutiques of Chanel, Prada, Burberry and the like on State Street and Michigan Ave, went to the top of Sears Tower (the current highest building in the western hemisphere), Millennium and Grant park for the Avant Garde sculptures, to off-beat little import grocery stores where I found fruit I hadn't seen since living in Denmark (lychee, currant berries, and dragon fruit to name a few).

It was around 5:30 that I caught the train back to Sean's house, unsure if he had any plans for the evening that he wanted me with, though, with the way he had been acting towards me the day before I sort of doubted it.

Upon returning to his house, I found he indeed had a party to go to and a bar and didn't have any intention of inviting me. So, I got back on the train and went back to Downtown Chicago, hoping to catch the fireworks at Navy Pier.

After getting lost and missing the fireworks, I decided I would just walk around and take pictures instead. For such a large city, downtown Chicago never once scared me. Then again, I've never been scared when walking alone in a city at night. I feel comforted by the lights
and the people.

Finally, it was time to go home, when I realize 'oh shit, I let Sean have the keys because he lost his pair'. So, I was locked out and my phone was beeping that it was going to die. I was able to have it hang on long enough to text Sean and he told me to come to a bar called Cubby Bear's across from Wrigley Field. There they had 'Rock Band' night, where you got to sing on stage, any song you wanted, with a real rock band. It was pretty awesome, but sadly I only took one bad picture. It was here Sean was slightly warmer towards me, though not back onto the level he had been before.

Sean, Allison, Ken and I stayed around for awhile until Ken decided he wanted to go home, and I asked if he would take me back to Sean's place. I felt a strange sort of attraction towards Ken despite him being very different from the kind of guy I like. We talked, watched a couple episodes of Metalocalypse before he decided to go and I went to sleep.



( Second City )


( Chicago by night )

I awoke Thursday morning bright and early so I could go home. The bus ride was, thankfully, uneventful and quiet. I slept for most of the way back home, as I found when I was awake I would have a horrible, dreadful feeling the closer we returned to Louisville. It was as though the closer I came, the more of my problems began to resurface. About Will, about living back home, lack of real friends, when and how I am going to move and if I do where to and over-all my quarter life crisis just continued to consume my brain. I slept to stave off the miserableness of it all.

Bye, Chicago. Until next DJ comes through...


Thank god Aaron offered me a chance to go to Indy the next weekend, to get out of town. I wasn't really feeling the city though, and for the first time in my life I nearly had an anxiety attack while in a crowded club. I felt ugly, awkward and out of place. I just wanted to go home and hide under the covers. Thus, there are no pictures from the trip.

I find I have been avoiding this city a lot. Not only because everywhere I go reminds me of my previous relationship, but I am just done with this city. It feels more like a trap than a place to live now. I have to bug Grandma some more to get her birth certificate so I can hurry up and have an easier pass back to Europe.

Uuugh, this is all so difficult.

...Jesus christ. It was crazy/beautiful/insane/perfect.

I'm still all tingly with awe.

I went to this party on the 31st. I've been so busy with trying to find a place to live on such short notice and working to really have time to update.

I saw George Acosta in January, I think it was and he was...okay. Honestly, he really seemed like he didn't want to be there, wasn't into the crowd, wasn't smiling or anything. I later found out he had been on a three day coke binge and was tired as fuck.

The trip wasn't too bad except it was brutally cold in Columbus, so Aaron and I didn't do anything besides stay in the hotel. This time the weather was beautiful. Sunny, warm and very windy, but pleasant nonetheless. Even the ride up there was more enjoyable than usual, with the windows rolled down, the sun shining into the car, blasting Armin van Buuren, Tiesto, Shah and others.

After checking into the hotel (we had a Suite, and I had my own room with an amazing view of downtown), Aaron, Bruce and I walked around the beautiful, windy downtown Columbus. There wasn't really much going on during the day. Like any typical Midwestern downtown on a weekend afternoon, it was dead as can be save for a smattering of hobos, hipsters and restaurant workers. We went to this amazing little Thai place which I was so thankful was open...as they barely seem to have any business. Its sad really, because its amazing Thai food for really cheap and the owners are so gracious.

I sat in the sauna for a bit on the 30th floor of the hotel, then took a nap. Bruce and Aaron walked around the city some more and bought a bunch of champagne. I have to admit, it was pretty good for being so cheap. We showered, got ready, then headed out to Sugar Bar where George played last time.

The crowd was, if anything, larger. I immediately felt a swell of disdain for the swarm of drunken bachlorette parties. I swear, if I ever became a DJ, I'd enforce a strict 'no bachlor/ette parties'. Fuck them and their stupid clone girlfriends with no taste in music, knowing nothing of the Grammy winning DJ who is there, taking up space of real fans just so they can dance on the bar in their stupid flashing plastic penises and matching 'BACHLORETTE PARTY' sashes.

I digress.

I went to my favorite roll spot, the overhead loft. I was restless for most of the evening though I had a ton of energy. I did a lot of glow-sticking, which was weird for me.

George came on about two hours after we got there and played a very nice, high energy set. I spent a good 60% of my time in the loft and 40% outside. For some reason my roll was making me feel claustrophobic when I went down into the dance floor.

I got to meet George afterwards, and I have to admit, he's very very handsome up close. At a distance, he just seems like your typical looking Hispanic guy, but up close he's very good looking; I was a little shocked when I walked up to the DJ booth to talk to him.

Afterwards we returned to the hotel and Aaron, Bruce and I sat in the sauna for a good hour or so before crashing out. We had a late wake-up of 1pm, gathered our things and headed home.

We made a pit-stop at Cracker Barrel (gag), though I had more fun playing with the items in the gift shop than I did eating their artery clogging food. The trip home I dozed off in the sunlight, as it was just as beautiful going home as it had been on the drive up there.

Overall, the trip was really amazing.



( Behind the wheel )

Here are some videos of the set and some people glow sticking. Sorry if the bass is blown out or the camera is shaky. Acosta uses A LOT of bass, so its hard to get a good video of the set.

( videos )

I was supposed to see Tiesto in Chicago on Saturday. I had a ticket, but no way to get up there as my ride bailed. Ah, oh well. I saw him at the start of his In Search of Sunrise tour, so I don't really need to see him again. Kirby and Kortney would have been there...thats the only reason I wanted to go; well, and to see Animal, too. However, Sharam (of Deep Dish) sent me an email saying he was due back in Chicago in late July.

There is no way I can miss that.

Next weekend is pride, then the weekend after the whore of a landlord has ordered me out.

I'll keep you posted.

I think I am fully recovered from Derby week. Well, post Derby week events, which I will make an entry about later.

Derby is supposed to be a two week event. Thunder, the opening celebration, is supposed to be two weeks before the horse race (the first Saturday of May).

It seems last year, Thunder fell on the Jewish holiday of Passover. Many of the Jewish backers could not participate and were extremely angry to the point they threatened to pull their funding if Thunder wasn't moved to accommodate their holiday. Thus, Thunder was three weeks from Derby, rather than two.

Because of the extra added week, Derby just felt, well, off. There was a whole week of literally nothing to do. Chow Wagon took longer to open, the festivities used to fill in the extra week seemed forced and sparsely attended, even the Oaks and Derby itself just seemed, well, meh. Especially the after-parties.

I also think it has to do with the very bad economy. Even those with money can't afford to flash it around like before.

So, there was Thunder then nothing for a week. Finally, however, the biggest red-neck convention besides the state fair happened: the Chow Wagon!

Where else will you find deep-fried twinkies on a stick, funnel cakes, pregnant teens, bad cover bads and horrid fashion in one place (besides the fair)? I present to you the Chow Wagon in all its greasy glory.



( Sights, sounds and smells (well, luckily not) of the Chow Wagon )

So then there was the week of nothing. Derby just felt off and the parties thrown together at the last minute even seemed half-assed, at that. I never pay attention to the so-called super exclusive "star studded" parties, really. Why should I pay an extra $50 because some club is hosting a party full of "celebrities" whose names I have never heard of (okay, 75% never heard of). Unless I am on the carpet, I'd rather not waste my time gawking.

I worked for Oaks and Derby at Gamestop. The Gamestop I was at on Saturday was right across from Churchill Downs, where the Derby race takes place. I could hear the screaming of 100,000+ people as the horses ran the most famous horse race in the world, followed by an eerie and sudden silence.

It was a beautiful day, full of mint juleps, excitement and a 1100lbs dead horse.



The only female to run, Eight Belles, broke both of her front legs and had to be euthenized on the spot in front of all the race goers. Eye Witnesses say it only took about five minutes.

She raced against three-year-old male horses while she herself was female and only two. In my opinion too young to race.

Larry Jones, the horse's trainer, said, "She's our family. We're heartbroken." I might add here, and a lot poorer. Luckily for him, there are several other horses back at the farm to take her place.

The video is a bit hard to watch. The very end of the Derby where she breaks both legs.





( Her last moments )

I went home to get a quick nap before going out. Everything was so dead feeling; even Connections, Louisville's gay mecca was dead. There are a copy NSFW images.



( Derby at Connections )

So, there hasn't been too much after that. The Deli fired me, claiming I stole sandwiches from them, yet they refused to show me the evidence (even though they claimed they had it) and then, when I confronted then with research showing them how it was impossible for me to have stolen from them, they changed their story. I now work for L'Occitane, a cute little French import store.

Uhmmm, I'm dating this guy named Will and he is amazing. I'll update about him later.

Oh! Saturday I went out to Connections and met Ronnie from Make Me a Supermodel. Sadly I didn't have my camera on me. :/ Still, the show didn't do him justice. He's on the campaign trail promoting Hillary Clinton.

I found some pictures of him online.

( Ronnie )

So, yeah, thats it. Next weekend is Memorial Day weekend, which should be fun. Then the week after I go up to Columbus to see George Acosta. Two weeks later its up to Chicago for Tiesto.

Being tangled up in your big blanket right when it comes out of the dryer.



Derby week reviews, pictures, and a huge event/rant to come soon!